Family Altar- First Round!

I've been increasingly aware of the evils of the world lately, and how Satan truly is like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8). He looks for any door that is kept even a tiny bit open to enter and destroy. He tries to creep into our minds, tries to lure our children, and tries to destroy the family. It is quite anxiety provoking even just to think about, and I must admit that there are days when the thoughts and the worries can almost be paralyzing. In those moments, I am reminded that Christ promises, "Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you." What an amazing promise! But how can we get this authority? We are blessed with a richness in our Church that gives us various means of receiving the grace of the Holy Spirit that can fill our hearts and our homes with this protection against evil and also bring us to the presence of God. The "Family Altar" is a designated area in the home where we as a family can come into the presence of God together. We made ours pretty simple for now (picture above) with an icon and a candle, since our boys are still little. We set up the ipad with the prayers from the Coptic book of hours (the Agbeya) and for today we just said the Our Father and the Thanksgiving Prayer that our six year old was able to read for us. We also tried to do some meytanias (prostrations) while saying "Lord Have Mercy". I say "tried" because our 1 1/2 year old was with us and thought we were all trying to play a game with him, but after a while he was really trying to get up and down like his older brothers :) Overall, it was a good first attempt. The boys of course were laughing at times, trying to play around and pretty distracted overall, but I know that just being in the presence of God together as a family is powerful. When we pray in His presence, we put ourselves in the posture to receive His Grace, His peace, His joy, His protection, His love. Regardless of what is happening around us (even when 3 monkeys are jumping all around us), He is there and ready to give to us. I pray that these moments would plant seeds in the hearts of my children, and build walls around their hearts and minds to protect them from the evil that is fighting all around them.

Decluttering

This will be the second time that I try to intentionally "declutter" during Lent. It seems as though I let things get a little out of hand when I am not making a conscious effort to simplify and stay focused. I'm not just talking about my kitchen counter that now takes the brunt of having to manage three little boys, but I am also talking about my mind and my spirit; both of which have also taken the brunt of my busy lifestyle and my admitted addiction to social networking and constant need to look up something on my iphone (aka "the antichrist"). Apparently, I'm not alone. I've talked to countless people who say the way they "unwind" at night is by browsing facebook or flipping through their smart phone. It seems all of us are being pulled in by something...or someone...who wants us to keep our minds and hearts busy and full with something, anything...other than Him. Sometimes I look around my home and see all of the excess stuff that we don't even have room for. I can spend hours just putting this "stuff" away, organizing it, and picking it up off the floor. It can literally consume me to the point where I don't have enough time and energy to do the things that are important, like spending time with my husband and kids, and making sure they don't go the bed hungry ;) And even when I do spend time with them, my thoughts are often consumed with what I have to do, so I don't get to fully enjoy my time with them. Isn't it the same for my spirit?? There is so much "stuff" in my mind and heart that it becomes difficult to focus on what the Lord is saying to me when I spend time in prayer. Sometimes although He is right beside me, He seems distant because all of the clutter in my mind is making its way down to my spirit so that I can't fully engage Him. So what am I going to do about it?? Yes, disconnect! (Ironically, this is actually a real app on smart phones). I am disconnecting from social networking completely and excess email/texting and increasing my Bible reading and time spent in the agbeya and personal prayer. I truly believe that God is the one giving me the motivation to do this in order to really draw me in to Him. Through His power and grace, I don't doubt that some great change will happen through this process...stay tuned!

One Day...

Being a full time mother of 3 little boys can be a daunting task some days. There is little time to rest, think, and even eat... As tempting as it is to look forward to my boys growing up just a little, and being more independent, I am very cautious not to. I don't know what it is that makes me extremely aware that life is short and that these moments are so fleeting. Maybe it is because my dad passed away about 30 years before he should have, and my mom was taken from us by dementia also about 30 years too early...Maybe its because my two older sons will both be in school full time next week...I'm not sure what it is, but the following are the thoughts that keep me going when I seem to be drowning in the fatigue and responsibilities of the day: - When the boys jump in bed with us much too early for our liking, I remind myself that one day we will be the ones dragging them out of bed, and we will be longing for the days of early morning cuddles with them.

- When they constantly ask us to play with them, whether it be riding bikes outside, playing Candyland for the 100th time, or building yet another castle or spaceship out of blocks, I remind myself that one day I will wish they'd want to play with us instead of their friends, and will be longing for the days when we were their world, their fun.

-When they ask for "one more bedtime story", I remind myself that soon they will be reading on their own, and I will long for the days where we all sat in bed together, having them on our laps while we read story after story.

-When they seem to be "in my way" in the kitchen while I am trying to cook, asking me if they can help, I will remind myself that there will be a day where all they'll want is to know when dinner will be ready. I will long for the days where we prepared together.

-When I want the house to be quiet just for once, I will remind myself that one day the house will seem a little bit too quiet. I will long for the days when we could hear the pitter patter of their feet as they ran all over the place, I will miss the laughing, and even the fighting over all the silly things.

-When I am constantly cleaning up instead of spending time with my kids, I will remind myself that there will be a day where I don't have 5 people's laundry to wash, little fingerprints to clean, and crumbs to sweep up. I will long for the days where my house was a mess, but full of life.

-When I feel as if my ears are going to fall off with all the "Mommy, guess what??" or "Mommy, look at this!!" that I hear all day long, I remind myself that one day it will be like pulling teeth to get my boys to keep talking to me and telling me about every detail of their day. I will even long for those days when they talked my head off.

Even as I wake up to feed and hold my newborn, I am reminded how quickly they grow and how this precious season of closeness with my baby will soon be over.

The Bible tells us, "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." Moms and dads, let us diligently serve our children during this brief season. As challenging as it may be some days, let us remind ourselves that it is just a season that will soon become a memory as we move on to our next God given assignment.

God Alone

No one has ever fully embraced the concept of "God Alone" apart from grave disappointment. That is the painful truth. There have been moments in my life where I could have confidently said "all I need is God and nothing else", but had I been stripped away of my provisions and come face to face with the Provider, I would have to be honest with myself and admit that I would still feel like something is missing. When I speak of provisions, I'm not necessarily talking about material possessions. Relationships, comfort, and routine are also things that I hold on to in order to attain a sense of happiness or peace, but in the end, even these things don't satisfy. Even the most wonderful, Godly people and fruitful relationships will inevitably disappoint us at times, because it just doesn't make sense to expect of people or situations what only God can deliver. Even though we know this, so many of us find ourselves going back to these things over and over again thinking that maybe this time we will find what we are looking for.

So what should we do then? We have two choices: wrestle all of our lives with unmet expectations, or INTENTIONALLY rest our souls in God. Obviously, we would all choose to do the latter, but how? King David gives us some insight on how to use the disappointment we experience in people or situations as an opportunity to cling to God so that we can get to the point where we can truthfully say, "God ALONE". Goliath was nothing of the giant that Saul was to David. Saul was someone close to David, and someone that David looked up to at one point. Can you imagine how David felt when someone that close to him betrayed him and sought to kill him? Maybe we don't have friends turning against us or people wanting to kill us, but we've all experienced the feeling of disappointment in a person or situation that we thought was "the one" that would satisfy us.

One thing that David did that I have been practicing is really pouring my heart out to God- out loud. Instead of looking for a person to vent to or share my feelings with, I have been making a point to go to God first. Its natural for us to think that going to a person will make us feel better, but there are moments in our life when God closes doors to people so we are forced to come to Him. Psalm 62 is a wonderful example of when David did just that. After pouring out his heart to the Lord, David says in verse 5, "My soul, wait silently for God ALONE, for my expectation is from Him." So often we get impatient in our trials and impulsively run to people or things to give us the satisfaction that God is eager to give us...if only we would wait. Praying out loud has helped me to stay focused and also to feel that I am actually talking to the person of God, rather than wrestling with jumbled thoughts in my head. Doing this consistently allows me to actually get things off my chest and pour myself out so that God can fill me up with His peace, His joy, His direction, His guidance...all the while building a more intimate relationship with Him. If we are filled with feelings of discontentment, anger, confusion, etc, it will be hard to God to "fill us up" with these things and that's why its important to pour it all out and not bottle it up inside. I can't wait to get to the point where I am so satisfied in this place of rest that God gives that the next time a trial hits me, I will run to Him first instead of to others and be able to honestly say with David, "My soul, wait silently for God ALONE, for my expectation is from Him."

Seasons of Change

Hate is a strong word, so I will say this...I strongly dislike change, and as I grow, I'm realizing it more and more. I always order the same drink at Starbucks (chai: hot in the winter and iced in the summer); I always eat the same dish at the Cheesecake Factory (lemon herb roasted chicken); I like to follow the same weekly routines and keep things in my life as predictable as possible.

Ironically, in the past 8 years our life has been anything but predictable. We moved to Kenya twice (once before kids and once after) for over 6 months each time, all three of our children were not exactly planned (by us at least ;)), my mom was stricken by an extremely rare disease called Pick's around 8 years ago and became someone unrecognizable almost overnight, my dad passed away completely unexpectedly around a year ago, and here I am now in Fairfax, Virginia, my husband an ordained a priest for the Coptic Church...none of which we could or would have predicted at the beginning of our marriage.

So seeing that I dislike change, one would think that I would be miserable, but it has been quite the opposite! There is a special grace and blessing I've found in allowing God to take us places- both literally and spiritually- that doesn't necessarily make sense logically. This past Sunday, I was visiting a family with my husband and he shared his meditation about St. Mary and her thoughts and feelings when she was informed that she was pregnant (out of wedlock) with the Son of God. That isn't exactly easy news to swallow for a young girl who lived a very simple and most likely predictable life. This change would affect every part of her life- her emotions, her social life, her responsibilities, her daily routine, and so much more. She had two choices: obey God and submit to the plan He had for her life, or continue on with her life pretending she didn't hear Him.

Clearly, we know what her choice was. Was it an easy choice? NO. Was it an easy life? NO. But was she blessed? EXTREMELY. Was God glorified? TREMENDOUSLY.

We all have the same choice as St. Mary when God ordains some type of change in our life. We can obey and submit to His plan or we can act like we never even heard Him. If we choose the latter, our life will be simple, routine, and predictable, but it will never be blessed. I've had the blessing of experiencing this several times in my life, yet now when I am the verge of an eminent change, I still fear and long to cling to routine, stability, and predictability.

But as I write this post, I am reminded of an all too familiar verse, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11. I make the decision to willingly submit to the upcoming changes that God has planned for us, with full confidence that even though tough times may lie ahead of us, there is blessing and glory at the end of the tunnel, and through it all, we have a heavenly Father who will hold our hand through it all.

Fla-Vor-Ice

Funny choice for a blog post, I know. These flavored popsicles actually hold great sentimental value for me. I was sitting outside with my kids eating them today when a flood of memories from my own childhood came rushing to my mind. The long summer days of playing with neighbors, going through sprinklers, going to the Detroit version of the "beach" with my parents...

How fleeting those moments were. I get a pit in my stomach when I think that the home which held the spirit we had known as children is empty, and those moments are gone. I could have never predicted the early death of my father, and my mother battling with dementia at such a young age. Life is simply unpredictable.

So as I sat outside with my kids tonight eating our popsicles, I focused not on the fact their shoes weren't on and their popsicles were spilling on their clothes. Instead, I focused on the sweet moment we were sharing, realizing that these moments also will pass.

As hard as it is sometimes to not wish it was time for the kids to go to bed so I can finally get some rest, I promised myself tonight to savor every single moment- good and bad- because these are the moments that one day we will wish would come back...

Spoiling our Kids...Just a Thought

I am always trying to make sure my kids are not spoiled. Of course I believe its important to discipline, after all, who wants to deal with spoiled brats? But the other day, God revealed something to me that really struck me...HE spoils US. While journaling, I was recalling the abundance of blessings in my life, one by one. After a while, I was a little overwhelmed. The amount of blessings certainly did not match up with my devotion, my service, or my sacrifice. In other words, I am doing NOTHING to deserve what He gives me, but that doesn't stop Him from giving.

With my kids, a lot of the time, I give them rewards based on what they have done, or not done. I know it is important to teach responsibility and of course not give them everything they ask for, but sometimes, I feel like we should just give to our kids simply because we love them. The other day, Daniel asked, "Mommy, can I have ice cream if I am behaving?" and I answered, "You can have ice cream because I love you." The sweet look on his face was priceless and reminded me that I should do it more often.



Kids gain an understanding of God's character mostly from the way their parents treat them. I want my kids to grow up confident of God's UNCONDITIONAL love for them. I don't want them to think of God as a stern parent always looking over their shoulders to make sure they aren't doing anything wrong.

Lord, fill me with Your Spirit so that my kids can see You and Your amazing love through me.