Monday, May 7, 2012

God Alone

No one has ever fully embraced the concept of "God Alone" apart from grave disappointment. That is the painful truth. There have been moments in my life where I could have confidently said "all I need is God and nothing else", but had I been stripped away of my provisions and come face to face with the Provider, I would have to be honest with myself and admit that I would still feel like something is missing. When I speak of provisions, I'm not necessarily talking about material possessions. Relationships, comfort, and routine are also things that I hold on to in order to attain a sense of happiness or peace, but in the end, even these things don't satisfy. Even the most wonderful, Godly people and fruitful relationships will inevitably disappoint us at times, because it just doesn't make sense to expect of people or situations what only God can deliver. Even though we know this, so many of us find ourselves going back to these things over and over again thinking that maybe this time we will find what we are looking for.
So what should we do then? We have two choices: wrestle all of our lives with unmet expectations, or INTENTIONALLY rest our souls in God. Obviously, we would all choose to do the latter, but how? King David gives us some insight on how to use the disappointment we experience in people or situations as an opportunity to cling to God so that we can get to the point where we can truthfully say, "God ALONE". Goliath was nothing of the giant that Saul was to David. Saul was someone close to David, and someone that David looked up to at one point. Can you imagine how David felt when someone that close to him betrayed him and sought to kill him? Maybe we don't have friends turning against us or people wanting to kill us, but we've all experienced the feeling of disappointment in a person or situation that we thought was "the one" that would satisfy us.
One thing that David did that I have been practicing is really pouring my heart out to God- out loud. Instead of looking for a person to vent to or share my feelings with, I have been making a point to go to God first. Its natural for us to think that going to a person will make us feel better, but there are moments in our life when God closes doors to people so we are forced to come to Him. Psalm 62 is a wonderful example of when David did just that. After pouring out his heart to the Lord, David says in verse 5, "My soul, wait silently for God ALONE, for my expectation is from Him." So often we get impatient in our trials and impulsively run to people or things to give us the satisfaction that God is eager to give us...if only we would wait. Praying out loud has helped me to stay focused and also to feel that I am actually talking to the person of God, rather than wrestling with jumbled thoughts in my head. Doing this consistently allows me to actually get things off my chest and pour myself out so that God can fill me up with His peace, His joy, His direction, His guidance...all the while building a more intimate relationship with Him. If we are filled with feelings of discontentment, anger, confusion, etc, it will be hard to God to "fill us up" with these things and that's why its important to pour it all out and not bottle it up inside. I can't wait to get to the point where I am so satisfied in this place of rest that God gives that the next time a trial hits me, I will run to Him first instead of to others and be able to honestly say with David, "My soul, wait silently for God ALONE, for my expectation is from Him."